Aed jokes

I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"

I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

I kicked a goose, and I liked it!

I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.

I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.

Yeah, it was a shih tzu.

I blend children to make a good living.

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

What do you call an abo with a shotgun?

Sir.

How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?

He performs fellatio on them.

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

Why do orphans like milk so much?

Because they got no milk as a baby.

Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.

Me: punching a kid.

My FBI agent: You're adopted.

Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.

Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?

De-feeted (Defeated)