Airport jokes

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?

A: An airport.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?

A: They don't belong in buildings.

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang.

What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.