Airport jokes

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?

A: An airport.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?

A: They don't belong in buildings.

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang.

What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.