Airport jokes
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
Here comes the airplane.
9/11 happens the next day.