Airport jokes
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...