Aed jokes
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
Kian. Legit, Kian is a joke.
What has a head and tail but no legs?
A penny.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.