Adult jokes
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
Your mum!
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Roses are red, But grass is greener, When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
Happiness.