Adult jokes
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
My favorite one 🤣
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"