Adult Jokes

Why did the poop cross the street .why. Because it was trying to get in the toilet

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady

Answer: you can unscrew a lightbulb but you can’t unscrew a lady

Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn

😴 🛌 ⏰️ ✋️ If a gay male is married to a well-endowed physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up do he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up? Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob

Whats the difference between a lamboi and a pile of dead kids ... i don't have a lambo in my garage

What is you main food Me:pizza cause i'm cheesy Friend: Chocolate chips cause i have a lot of friends Girlfriend: donut cause i have a lot of cream

where do you find the best comedians? in the funny farm!

Q: where does a one legged waitress work A: IHOP

what do you get when the queen fart a noble gas... what do you get when a dino farts a blast from the past.. why are ninja farts so dangerous they are silent but deadly L O L S

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster

God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty

Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol. qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter ?) Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre , parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans ...(Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in). Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir- metre ( centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to fill it when going in...

jkjkjhk

How do adults like their cookies like their orphans? Homemade.

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: yes

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!