New Adult Jokes

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?

Being a bitch.

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?

Palestinian masseur.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.

I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

What do the initials FEMA stand for?

Federal Erection Management Agency.

What do the initials CIA stand for?

Central Intelligence of A**holes.

What do the initials FBI stand for?

Federal Bureau of Idiots.

What do the initials UAW stand for?

United Awesome Whores.

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.