Act jokes
Gwen pegs Xavier.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
I suck dick.
REBEL!!!!!
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Did you know some people don't put on masks because they wanna act like something? Some put masks on to show their depression and feeling.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
What is the definition of fellatio?
Auto masturbation.
Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!