My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
