Act

Act jokes

Bullying

  • I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

    After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

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  • Clown

  • Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?

    Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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  • Alien

  • I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

    I remarked, "You lazy!"

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  • Sex

  • One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.

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  • Facebook

  • A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

    Librarian: What are you looking for?

    Man: I am looking for a book!

    Librarian: Which book?

    Man: Facebook.

    Song

  • I can't help myself I put it down on paper All the different stages, memories of us That's the only way I know that I can shake it Writing all our pages, every single thought I know you don't like when I'm nostalgic No, you've never tried to understand Say you're doing fine, don't think about it Like I do.

    Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to

    I can't wait for you to recognize the stories Like when you said i was beautiful Will you act as if you haven't even heard it? Nothing of it really matters 'Cause I know you don't like when I'm nostalgic Go back to the start to get an end Say you're doing fine, don't think about it Like I do.

    Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to

    Just to get over what we lost, what we lost I put it in words to clear my thoughts And just to get over, over us I had to, I had to

    Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to

    sorry kenny?!

    Woman

  • Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

    Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

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  • Drug overdose

  • One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

    She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

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