Accident jokes

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Johnathon

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.