Accident jokes

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

Johnathon

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.