Accident Jokes

Why did the parachute refuse to open?

Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.

I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.

I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

Johnathon

Stonk Adventure

The image is a three panel comic. In the first panel, a Stonk character is riding a bicycle, saying "WooHoo". In the second panel, the character says "Hmm, I wanna stop". In the third panel, the character has fallen off the bike and is lying on the ground, saying "I boke my Bon".

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Ur mom.

One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She has no arms.

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"

I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

A man walked into a fleshlight and died.

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.