Accident jokes
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"