Accident jokes

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.

A twin engine has two engines.

If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.

Why did the parachute refuse to open?

Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.

I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.

I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

Johnathon

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

USS Liberty. Never forget.

It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Ur mom.

One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!