Accident jokes

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?

The finish line at the Boston marathon.

If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.

you.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

What happened to the blind man's son?

He thought he was hitting a piñata.