Accident jokes

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.

This is Sally.

Sally says hi.

This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕

A ball hit me in the vagina.

U were accidental.

By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?

He Neverland.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.