Accident jokes

Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A. His mom threw an oven at him.

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!

Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.