Accident jokes
A ball hit me in the vagina.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Memes
Meme for today
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.