You're jokes
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
You're gay, Amon.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."