Side jokes
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
We already colonized UK and Canada, TIME FOR US TO BECOMING RULER OF EARTH, JOIN BROWN SIDE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.