You jokes

What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?

CUMedy.

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Like if you think rape jokes are funny.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

what's the difference between hitler and you?

one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: ....ur parents.

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artificial Intelligence.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.