You jokes

Man: Hey Siri!

Siri: Yes?

Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?

Siri: Uh...

*phone literally explodes*

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?

A: Udderly destroyed.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

How do you fix a broken gorilla?

With a monkey wrench.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?

A Peking duck.

Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: Traffic.

Teacher: Did I did it?

Me: Did I even blame it on you?

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.