What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
You Jokes
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
