25+ Thigh Jokes

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

(Posted by Seth 💖)

The image lists the pros and cons of girls with thick thighs. Pros include that they are extra squishy, super great pillows, look good in skirts, dresses, and shorts, they jiggle, are soft, and could crush a watermelon. The cons are that there are none, because they are perfect.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

Q: What do women and KFC have in common?

A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.