You jokes

Quote of the day:

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Chao!!!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

How do you make orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap for their parents to come back.

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make it clap until its parents come home.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

Why can't you run through a campground?

Because it's "past tents!"

Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.

Do you want to hear a joke?

You.

How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?

A: Snowballs.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

Family photo! :)

What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?

In baseball, you know where home is.

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.

What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?

A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎