You jokes
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
You are stupid!
Nana
What is 9 + 10?
21
You stupid!
If you ever get cold, just go to a corner because they're usually 90 degrees.
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Ready when you are, KK.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.