You jokes
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!
Work
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.