You jokes
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
As with Sonic The Hedgehog
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”