Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?
You Jokes
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Your not actually cute so shhhhh
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What do you call a trash bin for 9/11?
Osama Bin Laden.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
