You jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
Memes
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
You just made a Mist-ake.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.