Complaint jokes
What do black people and sports cars have in common?
Getting a noise complaint for being so loud.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Alles tut weh.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
This isn't even a joke, honestly. Rape victims bitch all the time, and they have a god complex. Hope they go through it again.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
U can vent here idc.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)