You jokes
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
Like if you think I'm stupid.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.