You jokes
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
What do you call a gay person on fire?
LGBBQ
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
What do you call 5 gays on fire?
LGBBQ.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!