You jokes
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
You are the special
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.