You jokes

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father Les.

What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.

An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?

You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.

What do you call an orphan fish?

Self-ish.

Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.