You jokes
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
What do you call a group of Emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Oh, you need a lesbian joke?
Uhh... gimme a second....
Me???
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.