You jokes
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"