You jokes

Mood

    • I only have 4 moods:

    • fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

    I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

    • fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

    and don't forget the inevitable

    • fuck it

    and for those who have just given up

    • fuck

    This is beautiful.

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    • Albert Einstein

    • When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

    “I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

    When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

    Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

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    • You memes

    Psychopath

    • Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

    Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

    Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

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    • Blonde

    • If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

    The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

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    • Suicide

    • Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

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