You jokes
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.