You jokes

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?

Your virginity.

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

You might think these jokes are plane.

You know I want an ADHD cure.

When?

Squirrel!

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Bully: "You are so stupid!"

Classmate: does nothing.

Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"

Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

What do you do when a baby starts to cry?

You use more lube.

Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?

I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."