You jokes
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
What do you call an animal that knows karate? Moose Lee 😊😁
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.