You sat on a chair with Uranus.
You Jokes
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
