You jokes
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"