You jokes
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.
Memes
Orange you glad to see me?
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
"Knife to meet you all!"
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.