You jokes
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
Memes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
You mom.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."