You jokes
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
Did you know I'm a really fast reader?
I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?