You jokes

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?

Fur Traders.

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.