You jokes
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A.) A family stump.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.