You jokes
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!