You jokes
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Memes
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.