You jokes
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Memes
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.