You jokes

When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

"How would you describe yourself in three words?"

"Lazy!"

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

Did you know I'm a really fast reader?

I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.