You jokes

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!

Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?

Person B: Tentacles?

Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*

Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?

A: By how much he's coffin.