You jokes

Sex

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

Car

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Hooker

Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.

Forehead

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Emo

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

Parrot

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

Break up

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

Shrek

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.

Snow

What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.

Orphan

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Underwear

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.