The 100+ Best Straight Jokes

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read "its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path." People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

The only thing I do straight is vodka

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"

I’m so gay I could barely think straight.

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.