Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Roses are red I sniff marijuana I have five fingers The middle one is for your vagina
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
