What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
You Jokes
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
