You jokes
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
I rate you a 9/11.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"