You jokes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
bruh this tru
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.