You jokes

Are you an orphanage?

Why?

Because I wanna put my kids in you.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.

What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

Friend 2: Yup.

Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

Friend: Why?

Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!

billie: hi.

me: You wanna hear a story?

billie: Yes, sure.

me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.

Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?

Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!

Son: How did it taste?

Dad: Get out.

Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?

- He robbed children of their innocence.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

A man is with his friend in a bar.

The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"

Nervous, the man looks away.

The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."

The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."

"Wait, wha..."

"What?"

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.

What do you call a depressed group of kids?

Suicide squad.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"