"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
You Jokes
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
Have you seen the new movie Constipation?
You haven't?
That's because it hasn't come out yet.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
