You jokes
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.