You jokes
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
Memes
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
Have you seen the new movie Constipation?
You haven't?
That's because it hasn't come out yet.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."