You jokes
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?
Sleeping Beauty.
You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana? A salmon-rai.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".
I commented back to you and portory.
Did you know that water is wet?
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3