You jokes
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Memes
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
Have you seen the new movie Constipation?
You haven't?
That's because it hasn't come out yet.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.