Islam

Islam jokes

Man

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

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  • Pub

    Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

    You can't drink alcohol or dance.

    Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

    Friend

    I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

    Memes

    Pilot

    Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

    Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

    Backpack

    Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

    Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

    Father

    I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

    Suicide

    When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

    Religion

    My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

    "Islam it is."

    Atheist

    Arabic

    Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.

    Atheist

    Adult

    Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?

    Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.