Islam

Islam Jokes

Man

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

Pub

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Friend

I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

Pilot

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

Backpack

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Father

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Suicide

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

Religion

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

Terrorist

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!