You jokes
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.