You jokes
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
Memes
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.