You jokes
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"
Shit.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Like if you are a simp.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
You like kissing boys, don't you?
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?