You jokes

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.

A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

What do you call a sneaky child molester?

Incogpedo.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.

How do you know you’re ugly?

If you always get handed the camera for group photos.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

Rizz,

Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.

A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.

"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"

The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.