You jokes

I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.

You know what I saw today?

Everything I looked at.

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

How do you know you’re ugly?

If you always get handed the camera for group photos.

I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.

"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.

"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

A field of cotton waiting to be picked.

What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.

What are three things you can't give a black guy?

A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche.

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.

Are you an orphanage?

Why?

Because I wanna put my kids in you.

What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.

You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"

Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.