You jokes
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
What do you call a group of emos?
Limited Edition.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.