You jokes
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?
Friend 2: Yup.
Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."