You jokes

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.

You won't feel lonely anymore :(

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Non-binary people: *cries*

Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!

Orphan: You will?

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.

Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?

I’m gay.

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

What do you call Hitler speeding?

The Fast and the Fuherous.

How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?

Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.