I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday but it’s actually more of a rap
hey yesterday i played with my sister when i woke up she was gone
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mummies chest? Dad: i don't see balloons, but i see boobs, i mean, yes balloons Son: Are you sure they're balloons yesterday i heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working
My wife left me yesterday. I haven't Talked to the kids in a year
Imagine getting rickrolled, oh i forgot you already get rickrolled yesterday
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golfclubs
I must of drove that chihuahua 300 yards
This is Riley abortion clinic yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Yesterday, I saw an advert with random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful. And then I said "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that's nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis
my teacher asked me what my favirote number was yesterday and i said 2977, i chose 91 for my football jersey number and sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher mr jacksons dad died in 9/11 and when he was talking about it friday the 9th i threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting monday
I was at a friends place yesterday, and... There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside. You guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you." I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
Yesterday i tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were and that made her cry harder. So then i adked her where her house was and she said with tears "i dont have one" so i got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was a orphaninch.
Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.
Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!
Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texed Oerien last night around 2:00 am?
Jalie: NO I NEVER DID THAT!
Karien: Jalie stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.
Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it's not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana
