"was lost in the woods yesterday,"
"i was in some sticky situation..."
Watched a really cool cartoon about rabbits with downs syndrome yesterday you should try watch it on catch up... Watership Downs
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday but it’s actually more of a rap
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mummies chest? Dad: i don't see balloons, but i see boobs, i mean, yes balloons Son: Are you sure they're balloons yesterday i heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub Is 1 way to describe how my inner child acts but yesterday I killed them now I hear Wubba Lubba Dub Dub I’m drowning in the tub
hey yesterday i played with my sister when i woke up she was gone
wHAT DID I EAT FOR BREAKFAST YESTERDSAY?
10 YEAR OLDS
My wife left me yesterday. I haven't Talked to the kids in a year
Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it's not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golfclubs
I must of drove that chihuahua 300 yards
Yesterday, I saw an advert with random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful. And then I said "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
This is Riley abortion clinic yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Imagine getting rickrolled, oh i forgot you already get rickrolled yesterday
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now. But the vet charged me six quid.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ́s from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work...
He’s a suicide bomber.
One time there was a happy lil girl then one day her teacher asked how many legs and arms do a pineapple have she said girl: You know those pokey things on it thats how many Teacher says: Thats dumb they have zero. then the next day the girl set a fire in her house and then she burned her legs and arms then she survived went to school then the teacher said i heard your house went on fire and btw you know you don ́t have no arms or legs right the girl said OK then the question the teacher asked yesterday asked the girl again she said what do u call a girl with no legs or arms? the teacher said ANSWER MY QUESTION the girl said OK OK the girl said 13 the teacher said PINEAPPLES DO NOT EVEN HAVE LEGS Then the teacher had to calm down then the teacher said to the girl ask a question whatever u want then the girl said ok and im sorry teacher teacher said its ok i need a break the girl said what do u call a girl without legs or arms someone from the class her name was nia she said a worm she said NO!!! the teacher said CALM DOWN JUST TELL US WHAT the girl said OK then the girl said it.......And yall who is reading my story guess what the answer is before i tell u and btw the girls name is sunny back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE then when the teacher was calm she told her to sit down then the teacher read a story The Three Little pigs then the girl went home she got a new house then lived happily ever after
