An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of there dark history
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
tj hairline is so far back,,if you travel back time you still won't find it
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex They both went down on my dad
My crush rejected me 2 years ago and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market? “Good evening ladies."
The past, present and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawkings house? No neither has he
I see 6 letters in the past I have 2020 vision I can see see 7 letters in the future i have 2021 vision
dont worry stephen hawking isnt dead. they have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a usb.
how do you see past that forehead
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart.
A blast from the past
Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore
