Yesterday jokes

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

Two female mice met and one spoke:

"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."

Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."

"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!