Year jokes
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.