Telescope jokes

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?

Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

What's NASA's grossest mission?

Probing Uranus.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?

To see his FUTURE in the STARS.

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.