Telescope jokes

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?

Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

What's NASA's grossest mission?

Probing Uranus.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?

To see his FUTURE in the STARS.